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I don't trust it.
call me pessimistic, like the wife and everyone I know does, but when things are good, that just means that big bad hasn't hit you YET.
the wife and kids are healthyish. got the treehouse built and the new floor in the dining room. the medical problem we thought the wifey-poo had, she dosen't. i've been accept3ed to nursing school which will help me to be able to provide for the family forever and ever and ever. i got alot of free swag at PAX. finished season 1 of Farscape.
so where will my life be derailed next? where will i screw it up? what stupid comment i make will piss off the wife? (that's a given)
eh. im gonna stop obessing and just deal when it happens.
for now.
August 31 2005, 16:10:24 UTC 6 years ago
I used to get sooo nervous when things were going well. After all, everything else fucks up, why not this too? Over the years, with practice and forced calm, I've managed to not fuck my life up so bad. Alot of was self sabatoge, and the stuff that wasn't somehow was made easier by the fact that I was dealing in a healthy manner.
Patrick says I still have my days of "when is the other shoe going to drop." And even as late as two years ago, I wrote in my journals wondering when the next eviction or death was going to be.
But Mrs. Sullivan brought up a point then. She said "Bad stuff just HAPPENS. It's not personal and it's not fate and it's not you. Life is just like that. Getting better doesn't mean that you get to avoid the downs of Life, it just means you can handle them better." She pointed out that while I did have a proclivity to damage, that all of Life is ups and downs. A death or an eviction is not nesscarrily a disaster, but just one of Life's "downs."
Okay, so that took ALONG time to sink in, and it's still a bit shaky in the application. But I keep that in mind.
I hear you, though. I hear you. Have hope, and breath. And don't worry so much about the wife - heh, Life's little spats are part of what makes love so interesting!